🍞 How To Talk To Anyone
Supercharge social media, build the perfect career, & talk to anyone
This is Bread Crumbs. We’re your buddy who helps you win at life.
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Today’s estimated read time: 4 minutes & 59 seconds. (best one yet??)
This is written by the Joe Ingles of rec league basketball, Luke.
One Tiny Habit
Under 5 minutes a day can change your life.
Sometimes I love social media. I dive into fascinating topics, learn from the world’s smartest people, and access opportunities my parents could only dream of finding at my age.
Other times, I hate social media. I scroll through brain-numbing content, get angry at outlandish opinions, and feel self-conscious looking at other people’s chiseled physiques.
I can easily waste 30 minutes scrolling. Afterward, my brain is fried & I feel like a complete bum. In reality, I’m not a bum. I’m just outmatched. My instant-gratification-loving mind stands no chance against the world’s smartest engineers.
So rather than continuing to lose, I choose to play a different game. A game that flips social media on its head. From a toxic outlet into a creative paradise. From an endless stream of upsetting news into the greatest curator of quality information. How do I do it?
I create alternative social media accounts with specific purposes. Each account only follows people who talk about a specific skill or topic I want to learn.
I have used this hack to learn how to pitch, lift weights, & improve my mental health. Right now, I am using it to become an expert writer and marketer.
Granted, this isn’t a perfect hack. To truly learn something, you actually have to do it (and fail). Plus, endlessly scrolling isn’t healthy no matter what you’re looking at. But let’s be honest, you and I are probably going to scroll on social media for a little bit every day. Rather than pulling us into a worse state, we can use it to spring us towards a better future.
One Insightful Question
Stop unconsciously floating through life & start thinking about things that really matter.
I often stress trying to find careers that suit me and my ideal lifestyle. At times, it can feel like an unrealistic dream. But, I know that the best way to succeed at something big is to break it into its tiniest pieces and focus on how to succeed at just one piece.
This same logic applies to careers. From afar, a great career is a resume of accomplishments. But happiness in life is not determined by the peaks. It’s determined by the tiny, unglamorous moments of everyday life. To find a career that keeps us happy, we need to think small. Work isn’t the keynote speech — it’s your 56th Thursday morning meeting. It isn’t a big salary — it’s waking up to go to work for the 1,245th time. In short, work is 10,000 Typical Tuesdays. So I ask myself:
Am I working towards my ideal Typical Tuesday?
It’s harder than it sounds. Society pushes us towards a few paths - consulting, banking, tech, etc. High salary, ingrained respect, and a clear path make these industries incredibly appealing. As a result, many people pursue them.
But, they don’t think about the Typical Tuesday that those paths lead to (and if they want it). So, they end up building a career that they do not want. A career that makes them chronically unsatisfied and unhappy. What seems “safe” in the short run becomes extremely dangerous in the long run.
So, how do we not fall into the trap? We need two things:
A very clear idea of the Typical Tuesday we want.
And a career that will take us there.
Figuring these out takes real reflection & work. But, I found a simple shortcut to get the ball rolling.
I talk to people in careers that appeal to me. And I ask questions to learn what their Typical Tuesday looks like. If I like what I see, I look into that track some more. If not, I drop it - even if societal norms push back. Why am I so sharp?
Well, the average person spends 1/3 of their life working (plus the effects it has on their outside life). So finding and pursuing a career that takes us to our ideal Typical Tuesday is one of the best things we can do for our long-term happiness.
One Guiding Principle
Principles can guide you to a great life.
A few weeks ago I went to a party. I didn’t know anyone and felt like a complete outsider. How was I supposed to walk up and join two strangers’ conversations?? Eventually, I built up the confidence to chat…it didn’t go well. The conversation felt forced & boring - a classic exchange of the basic facts of our lives. I left the party early (and defeated).
But other times, it feels the complete opposite! Conversation quickly starts flowing; we go beneath surface level facts; and I learn how they think. I usually leave late (and energetic).
What makes these conversations so different?? I’ve thought about it a lot and think I’ve found the secret sauce:
You can talk to anyone if you use the Tiny Universe Mindset. Let me explain:
Every person is like a tiny universe. That universe has its own set of beliefs, histories, heartbreaks, wins, losses, & interests that you’ve never gotten to experience. When you talk to people, you have the opportunity to get a sneak peak into their universe. You get to learn their stories, discover their passions, & hear their beliefs. By asking the right questions & opening up, you can explore another universe while expanding your own.
Isn’t that amazing? Rather than being like, “fuck I have to put in a bunch of effort and hope that I make a new friend.” It’s like “damn, I have the chance to experience a completely different universe from the one I’m currently living. I get to view the world from a completely different lens.”
Of course, you may not like or agree with that lens. But nonetheless, it gives you the opportunity to develop compassion and understanding for why some people behave and act the way they do.
The Tiny Universe Mindset turns conversations from intimidating to exciting. From forced to spontaneous. And it opens the door to the authentic experiences that will make you feel alive.
5 Great Resources
A curated list of content to help you explore your curiosity.
The case for traveling more. *MANDATORY READING FOR PEOPLE IN THEIR 20s*
This short blog will teach you how to pick your life partner.
Digital apprenticeships can supercharge you professional growth.
You don’t realize it, but you want an intellectual sparring partner…here’s how to get one.
Ray Dalio mentors Diddy…lol what are the odds? They filmed a conversation and it’s gas 🔥
Meme of the Week
See you next Sunday! Also, Jeff Bezos is a swole billionaire. You know what he attributes to his success? Carbohydrates.
- Paul & Luke
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Best one yet!
Really enjoyed this read Clance